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^.OUNTRY BOYS 
IN COLLEGE 



BY 

C. L. MICHAEL 




Copyright, 1914, By C. L. Michael 



NOTICE: 

"Country Boys in College" is fully protected under 
the copyright laws of the United States and is subject 
to royalty. This play must not be staged without 
the consent of the author and publisher, C. L. 
Michael, Phoenix High School, Phoenix, Arizona. 

All Rights Resewed 

PRICE 25 CENTS 

C. L. MICHAEL, PHOENIX HIGH SCHOOL, 
PHOENIX, ARIZONA 



COUNTRY BOYS 
IN COLLEGE 



BY 

C. L. MICHAEL 




Copyright, 1914, By C. L. Michael 



NOTICE : 
**Country Boys in College" is fully protected under 
the copyright laws of the United States and is subject 
to royalty. This play must not be staged without 
the consent of the author and publisher, C. L. 
Michael, Phoenix High School, Phoenix, Arizona. 

All Rights Reser'ved 

PRICE 25 CENTS 

C. L. MICHAEL, PHOENIX HIGH SCHOOL, 
PHOENIX, ARIZONA 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 



Jack Jamison, a country boy, who longs to go to 

college. 
Alice Arnold, who is loved by Jack and Harry. 

Hank Hawkins, 1 

Joe Hamilton, j^^^,^ ^^.^^^^ 

Jess Roberts, 

Fat Ormond, 

Jean Anderson, the talkative one. 

Julia Wilmoth, the girl Hank falls in love with. 

"Cute" Carney, Sport's girl, whose vocabulary 

consists of the one expression: "It's awfully 

cute." 
Harry Williams, whose "Dad strikes oil." 



Sport Yeager, 
Archie Armstrong, 
Bill Burchinal, 
Dan Martin, 



Harry's friends. 



Nute Neely, Jack's uncle. 
"Dad" White, coach. 
Sam Wilson, swipe. 



Nick Blake, 
Tom Jones, 
Ed Bailey, 
John Long, 



Members of the track team. 



Six or eight college girls to help in the songs and 
be on stage during the track meet. 

Four or five boys to act as judges, timers, etc., and 
to help in the songs if necessary. 

§)C!,D 37903 O. ;z^/< 

AUG 20 1914 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 



ACT I. 

Field on hill overlooking West Virginia Univer- 
sity. Road in rear leading to the school. The 
opening day of school. 

ACT II. 

The college campus of the West Virginia Uni- 
versity during a school day of the spring of the 
same year represented in Act I. The day before 
the try-outs to select candidates to represent W. 
V. U. in the Conference Meet. 

ACT III. 

The try-out on the athletic grounds. These try- 
outs are the finals of the 100-yard dash, the 220, 
440 and mile run, also the low hurdles. 

ACT IV. 

Jack's room, the night after the try-out. 
The Place. — Morgantown, West Virginia. 
The Time.— About 1895. 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 



Coflftumesf 



In Act I : Jack is dressed in overalls ; Uncle 
Nute in overalls and hickory hat, suspenders, high 
boots or brogan shoes. Should have beard and 
spectacles if desired. Hank should be dressed 
like a very seedy country boy. All others in ordi- 
nary school clothes. 

In Act II: All in school clothes, except Uncle 
Nute and the Principal. The former should be 
''dressed up." The latter dressed to represent a 
dignified professor. Jack and Hank dressed a lit- 
tle better in this act. 

In Act III : Uncle Nute in long duster. All stu- 
dents, except members of track team, should have 
regular school clothing. Track team boys should 
wear regulation track suits and tennis shoes. 

In Act IV: Regular school clothes. 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 

ACT I. 

Field on hill above West Virginia University. 
Road in rear. Clump of hushes in fence cor- 
ner. A ''drop'' curtain with fence and hill- 
field can easily he painted hy the art depart- 
ment. In front of this there should he a 
hoard roadway, three or four feet wide, and 
in front of this a ''ivorm'' fence, four or five 
rails high. These rails should he eight or ten 
feet long. They can he gotten a^ a lumher 
yard — split posts are hest, hut if they cannot 
he procured, square posts, three hy four, ivill 
answer. Enough huslies or foliage should he 
used to hide the hoard tvalk. 
On rise of curtain, Jack Jamison, a country hoy, 
is discovered hoeing in the field. While he 
hoes, the college clock strikes eight. Jack slow- 
ly stops hoeing, leans on hoe-handle and gazes 
off R. 
Jack: The next time that old clock strikes will 
be the signal for the assembling of the University 
students for another year — and I am not to be one 
of them. And yet, to be one of them, to study and 
learn the things they will have an opportunity 
to study and learn, is the only thing I care a rap 
about ; but here I am, tied down hand and foot on 
this little patch of ground, keeping the weeds out 
of my uncle's fields, while they grow rank in my 
own brain. (Hears talking l. Turns and looks.) 
Here they come. Gosh ! How I 'd like to be one 
of them. Guess I'll just hide behind this bush 
and see what they talk about as they go by. 
(Enter Archie, Bill and Dan l.j 



6 COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 

Bill: How's the football team going to be this 
year, Arch? 

Archie : Fine ! Harris Yost will be back in his 
old position at tackle and Lew Yeager will kick 
over the moon! Then we'll have Doggie Trench- 
ard for coach — he was captain of the Princeton 
team last year. 

Dan: We won't do a thing to W. & J., will we? 
(Enter Sport Swisher and ''Cute'' Carney, l., 
walking doivn road.) 

Sport: Miss Carney, isn't it delightful to con- 
template the fact that we shall soon be back to the 
dear old school? Look at it sitting there on the 
lap of the hill — makes one poetic, doesn't it? And 
just see the beautiful Monongahela gliding in 
graceful curves in its onward march to the sea. 
Ah, that's a picture that would inspire an author, 
a poet or an artist. Don't you think it's a won- 
derful panorama, Miss Carney? 

CuTE: It's awfully cute. 

Sport : But we must be going for I see the mul- 
titude gathering — 

(Exit Sport and Cute r.^ 

Jack (gets up and looks after them): I wonder 
if all the girls are like that? (Returns to former 
position.) 

(Enter Jean Harrison and Fat Ormond.^ 

Jean : What shall I study ? First of all I shall 
study astronomy. "Astronomy," says Huxley, 
"which of all sciences has filled men's minds with 
general ideas of a character most foreign to their 
daily experience. Astronomy, which tells them 
that this so vast and seemingly solid earth is but 
an atom among atoms, whirling, no man knows 
whither, through illimitable space ; which demon- 
strates that what we call the peaceful heaven 
above us is but space, filled by an infinitely subtle 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 7 

matter whose particles are seething and surging 
like waves of an angry sea, which opens to us in- 
finite regions where nothing is known, but matter 
and forces, operating according to rigid rules, 
which leads us to contemplate phenomena" — ah, 
won't that be grand? 

Fat : You bet yer life ! 

Jack (looks after them): Well, I should say 
not ! (Looks ojf l. and sees Harry Williams and 
Alice Harvey coming.) 

Jack: There comes Alice and Harry. 

Harry : By the way, Alice, this farm belongs to 
Old Nute Neeley, my rival's uncle. 

Alice: Your ''rival?" 

Harry (laughing): Yes, Jack, you know, is my 
rival ! 

Alice: No, I didn't know it, but if you have 
any reference to me, let me tell you that Jack 
would do pretty well in the "rivaling" business, 
for he's a boy I always admired. And if he'd just 
spunk up a little and go to school, he'd show a lot 
of you fellows some new tricks both in learning 
and athletics. You know very well that he could 
always beat you in nearly everything back at the 
old country school. 

Harry : What foolishness is this you 've got into 
your head? You know Jack's people are as poor 
as ' ' church mice ' ' and that Jack will never amount 
to anything. None of his folks ever did — neither 
will he ! 

Alice: Maybe not, but he could if he would. 

Harry: Yes, but he won't! 
(Exeunt r.) 

Jack (arising): I won't, won't I? You just 
watch me, Harry Williams. You never yet put 
anything over on me, and you never shall. Won 
the 440 last year, I understand! Back j^onder in 



8 COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 

the old Quiet Valley school you never beat me run- 
ning, no matter what the distance, and you can't 
do it when I get to the University, and I 'm going ! 
And Alice has faith in me, too. I could hardly 
believe my ears. Although I've always loved her, 
I tried not to show it, because it didn't seem to be 
any use. Harry, with all his money, seemed to 
be the one she would naturally want. Maybe if 
I would make something out of myself — go to 
school and get an education — I will go to school. 
(Shoulders hoe and starts off l. Stops, feels in 
pockets.) But I have saved only $10.00 and that 
wouldn't start me! I must go, but howf (Hears 
someone coming whistling a lively tune.) 

Jack: That sounds like Hank Hawkins. (Looks 
down road i..) Well, as Hank says, by the Jumpin' 
Gee Whillikins, that's who it is. Hellow, Hank! 

(Enter Hank, carrying satchel and shoes on a 
stick throivn over his shoulder.) 

Hank: Well, by the Jumpin' Gee Whillikins! 
How are you. Jack! What you doin' here? 
Thought you was goin' to the University. And 
here you are f armin ' ; and school begins today. 

Jack: Well, I am going, but I haven't started 
yet. You know father sent me down here to stay 
with uncle, who was to let me work evenings and 
Saturdays for my board, but he says there's too 
much work and I can't start yet — 

Hank : You 're a fool if you don 't cut loose and 
go anyway. 

Jack: Where are you going, Hank? 

Hank: Goin' to the University over there. 

Jack : Are you ? Where did you get the money ? 

Hank: Well, you see, I worked three days and 
a half for old Cy Prickett and was to have got 
sixty cents a day, but the old skin-flint docked me 
ten cents for eatin' more'n the other hands; then 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 9 

I dug $2.47 worth of genseng and sold one of my 
hounds for $3.75. 

Jack : You can 't go to school a year on that, can 
you? 

Hank: Sure! Of course, I'll get some work to 
do — Golly, I must put on my shoes, I've been 
walkin' in my bare feet to save shoe leather. 
(Climbs on top of fence and puts on shoes.) 

Jack: Have you walked all the way from 
home? 

Hank: Yep! It's only 117 miles. Made it in 
three days. What do you think ? An old tight-wad 
wanted to hold me up for a quarter for stayin' 
over night. But I chopped up a lot of wood for 
him and he let me off for ten cents. Gee ! but liv- 
in's high in some parts of this state. 

Jack : How did you get your baggage through ? 

Hank: Here it is (holds up small, old-fashioned 
satchel) — carried it on my back. (Looks off R.j 
Say, that's a fine lookin' school over there, ain't 
it? Wonder how you get into the place? 

Jack: Well, you first go and see the President 
and matriculate — 

Hank: What's that? 

Jack: Oh, you'll find out. Say, how's all the 
folks back home, Hank? 

Hank : Well, Pap fell off a load of hay last sum- 
mer and broke two ribs and one leg — 

Jack: That's too bad! 

Hank: Yep, purty tough on the old man. And 
ma 's had a terrible misery in her side all summer ; 
and Millissa had the measles and Ezra got snake 
bit and one of the Twins had the numony — but 
otherwise they're all about as well as common. 

Jack: Say, Hank, how's Harry's father get- 
ting along since he got all his oil money? 

Hank: Oh, he's goin' straight to the dogs. 



10 COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 

Jack : Is that so ? Too bad ! 

Hank: Yep, he's drinkin' and spendin' all his 
money. Guess Harry won't stay in school much 
longer if he depends on the old man's keepin' him 
in money. Say, why don't you matric — what- 
ever you call it? 

Jack: I'm going to pretty soon. I was just on 
my way to have it out with Uncle when you came 
along. If you can work your v;ay through, so can 
I ! Here comes Uncle now. So long, Hank. Think 
I'll be in school before many days. 

Hank: So long. Better hurry up and matric 
— whatever you call it. 

Uncle: Jack, you haint done an hour's work 
all mornin' and I want this patch cleaned up now 
purty tolable quick! 

Jack: Uncle, I've decided to go to school this 
year. 

Uncle: Is that so? Kind o' suddint, ain't it? 

Jack: Yes, that's so, and it's not so very sud- 
den ! You know my father sent me here with the 
understanding that you were to let me go to the 
University, and now I've been here for over a 
year and you keep putting me off — but now I'm 
tired of it all and I've decided to go — 

Uncle: You're getting mighty pert about it all 
at once, young man? 

Jack: All right. Uncle, if you won't help me — ■ 
(Shoulders hoe and starts off L.j 

Uncle (calming down): Well now, see here, if 
you've made up your mind to go, guess we can 
arrange it. You stay and help me nights and 
mornings and Saturdays — now come on and we'll 
fix it up, for seems you've made up your mind and 
reckon you'll have to go. 

(Exit lJ 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 11 

Jack : All right, thank you, Uncle ! (Starts to 
follow y looks toward school.) I'll show Harry Wil- 
liams that I can beat him through yet, and beat 
him out in the 440, too. 

(Re-enter UncleJ 

Uncle: What's that you say about 442? 

Jack: Why, Uncle, that's a race they have in 
schools — a quarter of a mile, I guess it is, and 
Harry Williams — son of old man John Williams, 
you know, who got some oil wells, and sent Harry 
to school last year, won this race and has made his 
brags that he can beat me or anyone else, I l)e- 
lieve, and I want to get a chance at him. 

Uncle N. : That 's all nonsense, boy. You don 't 
go to school to train your heels, but your head. 
Now, if you want to do something worth while, 
you take that little sorrel boss of mine and banter 
him for a boss race. They's some excitement and 
some sense in a boss race, and when you've won, 
youVe done something to brag about. You can 
go to school, but don't waste your time runnin' 
foot races. Come on, let's be movin'. 
(Exit L.j 

Jack : Uncle has never seen a real foot race, but 
if he can see me beat Harry, I bet he'll change his 
mind. And I'm going to beat him! And there'll 
be another race, too, and that for the hand of the 
sweetest girl in West Virginia. 

(Exit L.; 

CURTAIN 



12 COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 

ACT II. 
COLLEGE CAMPUS 

Very plain setting of trees, with bench at r. 
("Harry Williams, "Sport" Swisher, Bill 
B URCHIN AL, Archie Armstrong, discovered 
in conversation.) 

Sport : I say, Harry, who is this young up-start 
they call Jack that's creating such a stir out on 
the cinder path? They say he's an old friend of 
yours. 

Harry : Old friend of mine, nothing. Who 
sprung that joke, Archie? 

Archie: Why, your other friend. Hank Haw- 
kins. (All the hoys laugh hut Harry, who hecomes 
angry.) 

Harry: Just because fellows happen to be from 
the same county is no reason why they should be 
considered friends, is it? 

Bill (looking off u): Here comes your friend, 
now. 

Sport: The coach says that your friend Jack is 
going to make a great quarter-miler some day. 
Better look out, Harry, or he '11 beat you out in the 
quarter, and get to go to the conference meet. 

Harry: That rube? Why, I could beat him 
without a day's training. 

(Enter Jack l. and walks across stage in front of 
others.) 

Jack: Hello, fellows! 

Harry, Sport, Archie and Bill (mock cour- 
tesy): Good morning, Mr. Jamison. 

Harry: Say, Jackie, don't you wish they would 
strike oil on your father's farm? 

Jack: No, not if it made as big fools out of me 
and my father as it has out of you and your father. 

Harry (advancing toward him in anger, fol- 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 13 

loived by others): Look here, freshman, what do 
you mean? 

Jack (calmly) : Just exactly what I said. What 
are you going to do about it? 
("Sport and Bill lead Harry over to l. Archie 
remains R.) 

Sport: Come on, kid, and don't kill the fresh- 
man today. We'll attend to him later. 
(Exit Jack r.^ 
("Bill and Sport leading Harry off Ij.) 

Harry: Let me go, fellows, I won't stand that 
insult. 

(Breaks away from them and rushes over r., where 
he is stopped by Archie and led back to c.) 

Archie: Look here, Harry, don't make a fool 
of yourself. Licking's too good for him. Just let 
him alone and he'll soon be ripe for the best haz- 
ing a fresh freshman ever got. 

Harry: If he ever insults me again I'll not 
wait for any hazing ceremony, but proceed to 
punch his impudent face as it deserves. 

Sport (patting Harry on shoulder): Come on 
now, that's a game for two, where the other fel- 
low's got as good a chance to do some punching 
as you have. Now, the hazing game is different — 
in it the other fellow has absolutely no show, for 
he's only one to several. That's the safe game, 
old boy. We'll help you out with it. 

Bill: Jack may be a rube, but he's got the sand 
and he's right there with the goods when it comes 
to figuring out what old Blackstone meant when 
he wrote some of his spicy articles on jurispru- 
dence — 

Sport: Juriousprudence ! Where did you get 
onto that large and juicy word, Bill? 

Bill: Oh, up in the law class. 



14 COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 

Harry: I'll bet that's all the law Bill has 
learned this term — 

Bill: Well, we might as well go to the slaugh- 
ter. 

Sport : You said the right w^ord that time. 

Archie: Yes, slaughter of the innocents. 

Bill: Not one of us guilty — of studying a 
lick— 

(Exit R.) 
(Enter Jean and Fat lJ 

Jean : Yes, what we want in literature is direct 
and simple English. Those conglomerated effu- 
sions of vapid intellects, which posed in lament- 
able attitudes as the emotional and intellectual 
ingredients of fictional realism fall far short of 
the obvious requirements of contemporary de- 
mands and violates the traditional models of the 
transcendent minds of the Elizabethan era of glori- 
ous memory. Plain and simple English is the de- 
mand of the hour. 

Fat : You bet yer life it is ! 
(Exit R.j 
(Jack re-enters, r. Meets Hank, wlio enters l., 
carrying a sack and a hook.) 

Jack: Hello, Hank, where you going? 

Hank: I'm not goin', I'm just gettin' back. 
Golly, but them fellers did come near gettin' a 
joke on me. Told me Avhere we could catch a lot 
of snipe. So I went with 'em. They told me to 
bring a sack and so I did, and when we got into 
what they said was the snipe country they told me 
to hold the sack open and started off to beatin' 
around and yellin' for me to hold it open wider, 
and over the hill they goes. So I begin to think 
what a fool thing I was doin' so I shut up the 
sack and started back. 

Pretty soon I run onto a farmer and he says. 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 15 

''Where you goin' with your sack?" Well, it 
looked kind o' suspicious, I thought, so I said, "Oh, 
I'm just out trying to buy some apples," says I. 
''Well," says he, "I've got some to sell." So I 
buys two bushels for 50 cents, carried them over 
to town and cleared up a dollar on the deal. Here 
she is, a big shiny dollar, and I needed the money. 

Jack: You're getting to be a great financier, 
Hank. 

Hank : Well, 3^ou see it 's this way : when I feel 
down in my jeans and don't find a cent it makes 
me feel so doggone lonesome that I just got to get 
a little "dough" to keep me company — sort 'o 
cheers me up. 

Jack: That's a prett}^ good idea. I'm lone- 
some most all the time nwself. Let's get to our 
classes, Hank. 

Hank: All right. But what '11 I do with this 
sack? 

Jack : Ah, throw it away. 

Hank : Not much ! It 's worth five cents at the 
least. I've got it! (Throivs down hook, n., pulls 
off coat, ivraps sack around his body.) Here, Jack, 
pin her up and she'll be all hunkadoree. 

Jack (laughing): That's a great stunt, Hank. 
Turn around and let me see if it show^s. No. It's 
all 0. K. 

Hank: I may need that sack to carry my 
money in some day. 

(Exeunt r.^ 

(Eyiter Julia Gordon and Alice Harvey r.j 

Alice: There goes Jack and Hank. 

Julia: They are the greenest rubes in school. 

Alice: They are country boys — both from 
near my home — and fine boys. Wait a minute so 
they can't hear, and I'll tell you something. (They 



16 COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 

sit on bench, rJ We all went to the same school in 
the country, and I always liked Jack, and I think 
he did me a little, but when Harry Williams' 
father got rich from his oil wells, Harry came to 
take me riding in his auto and became my 
''steady," and, of course. Jack thought it all off 
with him, especially since we came to school, and 
I've Feen going almost every place with Harry. 
But Jack's worth a dozen of Harry. Harry's 
money is making an awful fool of him, and I some- 
times wish I could get rid of him. 

Julia : Well, why don't you do it? 

Alice: Listen! I'm going to introduce you to 
them and you be nice to Hank 

Julia (laughing) : Me ! Be nice to that 
greeny ? 

Alice: Yes; I'm serious. I've known lots of 
girls to marry the man they once laughed at. You 
get acquainted with them and you can help me 
out. (They rise and go off rear n.) 

Julia (laughing) : That would be a joke, 
wouldn't it? (^Hank comes round corner lookirig 
for his hook — picks it up as Julia says this, and 
hears it): The man I marry must be a hero and 
have a hauk account. 

Hank: Golly, don't guess I have any show 
then. I'm going to have the bank account all 
right, but I never was very strong on the hero 
business. I kind o' like that girl, too. Guess the 
thing for me to do is to work like blazes for the 
money, and trust to luck to get to perform the 
hero act. 

(Exit R.) 

(^Dan Martin and Jess Baker enter from r. and 

Fat L.j 

Fat: Hello, fellows, have you seen that new 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 17 

kid, Jack Somebody, run the quarter? Believe 
me, he's some class, that boy is! 

Dan: Do you think he has any show to beat 
out Harry Williams in the try-out tomorrow? 

Fat: That's what he has. He'll put it all over 
Harry. 

Jess: And that'll break Harry's heart— if he 
has any. 

Fat: Harry's been drinking and smoking too 
much, I understand. The coach says tomorrow 
will teach him a lesson. Says he knows Harry 
smokes and carouses around, and that he's going 
to have Jack run him to death. Coach thinks 
pretty well of Jack. 

Jess: I understand there's a little romance 
mixed up in it. That Jack and Harry are in love 
with the same girl, or something like that — never 
heard the particulars. 

Dan: Anyway, it'll be worth seeing them run 
it out tomorrow. 

Fat: So long, fellows. See you at the try-out 
tomorrow. 

(Exit R.) 

Dan and Jess: You bet we'll be there. Good- 
bye, Fat. 

(Exit L.j 
( Enter Cute and Sport l. j 

Sport: Miss Carney, did you ever see Uncle 
Tom's Cabin? 

. CuTE: Just saw the roof once — it was awfully 
cute. 

Sport: I'm speaking of the play 

Cute: Yes, I played it at a party once — aw- 
fully cute play. 

(Exit YL.) 
(Enter Uncle l., President u.) 

Uncle Nute: I'm a lookin' for the President 



18 COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 

of this here institootion. Maybe you kin tell me 
where I can find him. 

President: I am he. 

Uncle Nute: You am he is — am you? Then 
you are him — I mean you are he I'm lookin' fer. 

President: Very well, Sir, what can I do for 
you? 

Uncle Nute: Mr. President, I come here to 
ask why my nephew, Jack Jamison, spends so 
much time trainin' fer track, as he calls it, when 
I need him to help me on the farm. 

President : That, Sir, I cannot tell you. You 
will have to see the coach. 

Uncle Nute: See the coach? Who in tarna- 
tion is the coach ? I persoomed the President was 
boss, but you seem to have to have somebuddy to 
coach you how to run the institootion, is it? Well, 
I want it understood right novr, that I send that 
boy here to get his head trained, not his heels. 

President : You, Sir, are laboring under a 
misapprehension. This school stands for a sound 
mind in a sound body, therefore, we encourage 
all athletics of a manly character. Boys must 
have their exercise and fun in some form, and 
the athletics of this school furnish it to them in 
the best possible manner. 

Uncle Nute: Exercise, is it? I can give him 
all the exercise he needs, workin' on the farm. 

President: Sir, you seem to have forgotten 
the old adage, "All work and no play makes Jack 
a dull boy." I understand Jack is a very ex- 
cellent runner, and my advice to you is to let him 
have an opportunity to make good with the fel- 
lows, and, perhaps, he will get some trips with 
the team that will afford him pleasure and be of 
great profit to him in an educational way. 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 19 

Uncle Nute: Educational nothing. He can 
learn a lot of things workin' for me 

President : Perhaps he doesn 't care to learn 
those things 

Uncle Nute: He otto. 

President : Pardon me, but I might use your 
own argument, and say you ought to know some 
of the things he wants to know 

Uncle Nute: Haint no use arguin' the mat- 
ter. I don't want Jack a runnin' no foot races 
when he could jes' as well be runnin' chores, and 
if you are goin' to side in with him, I'll see Mr. 
Coach, or whatever his name is. 

President: Very well. Sir, but don't be too 
hard on the boy — remember what you liked when 
you were a boy? 

Uncle Nute: Yes, I do! Liked boss racin'! 
and I like it yit! But this fool foot racin' — 
haint nothin' to it and I don't want none of my 
relations a runnin' of 'em, either. And if you 
don't put a stop to it, I will, by gosh! 

President: I don't think I can do anything in 
the case, but I'm glad you came over, and hope 
you'll come and see us again. Good morning. Sir. 
(Exit L.; 

Uncle Nute (looking after him): Well, I'll be 
jiggered! Come here lookin' for a fuss, and to 
have it end like that! But hang it all, I'll stop 
Jack's foot racin' yit. Now, see if I don't. 
(Exit R.) 

(Enter Fat, r., running): Come on, the rest of 
you fellows, hurry up, there, or Prexy'll be after 
us. 

(As Uncle exits, he is run into and knocked 
down by Fat. Gets up in a rage, pulls off 
coat, throirs it down, pxdls off hat and throws 
it doivn, spits on hands, shoves up sleeves.) 



20 COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 

Uncle N. : What in tarnation do you mean, 
knockin' a feller down when he's tendin' to his 
own business! I'll knock you so blamed fur you 
won't get back fur a week! 

Fat : I beg your pardon, Mister. 

Boys: Stay with him. Old Man. Fat did it on 
purpose. 

Jack (rushing in and shoving hoys right and 
left): Stop that, will you, fellows! This is my 
uncle ! 

(Boys are surprised.) 

Uncle: Jack, are you one of these young ruf- 
fians ? 

Jack (handing his uncle coat and hat): No, 
Uncle, they're not ruffians — who ran into uncle, 
boys ? 

Fat: I did. Jack, and I beg his pardon. I 
didn't see him. 

Uncle: And I didn't see you neither, so it's 
all right, young man (shakes Fat's hand). No 
harm done. (To JackJ: I was lookin' fur you. 
Jack. I was afeard you was out runnin' foot 
races — 

Jack: Not today. Uncle. 

Uncle: Well, I'm glad you're not, but I must 
be going! 

(Exit lu.) 

Fat: I'm awfully sorry. Jack, but really I 
didn't see him. 

Others: We're all sorry. 

Jack: That's all right. Uncle has a pretty hot 
temper, but he's all right. 

Fat: Well, fellows, we got ahead of Prexy 
that time. Now, let me explain for the benefit 
of these freshies. It's an unwritten law that if 
a Prexy is not on hand promptly at class time 
we all ditch. That's why we're here, and since 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 21 

we are here, we're going to celebrate over the 
winning of our first law case. Come on, let's 
celebrate by singing a few songs. 

Archie: Say, fellows, before we sing, let me 
tell you a good one on Fat. 

Fat: Oh, cut it out, will you? Nobody wants 
to hear your nonsense. 

("Several Boys; : Shut up. Fat. 
("Other Boys;.- Go on, Archie. 
("Fat starts toivard Archie, but the hoys shove 
him hack.) 
Archie: Fat's sore because he lost a dollar on 
a bet. 

Sport: How's that. Arch? 
Archie: That's the plot of the story, so to 
speak. You all know Fat's girl talks like a house 
a-fire — 

("Voices; : Well, I should say she does. 
Dan: She's a regular hummer, etc. 
Archie: The other day I bet Fat a dollar he 
couldn't get in ten words while they walked from 
her house to the school grounds. 

Fat (trying to get at Archie;: Cut that out, 
Kid! 

Dan: That's highway robbery. Arch, to take 
money like that — 

Archie : Fat called for her as he went to school 
and had a good dozen words all fixed up. 

Of course she was talking when they met, so 
he thought he'd wait until the end of the first 
paragraph. But there were no paragraphs, so he 
decided to butt in at the first period. But she 
sailed on, so Fat determined to try and edge in 
at a colon, but it was only a dash, and the way 
she went. Fat became desperate, anticipated a 
semicolon in time to say: "Once I was," but she 
headed him off and sailed away on a perfectly 



22 COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 

new line of talk Avithout the formality of any 
punctuation whatever and Fat edged in on a 
comma and said, "Once I," but that was as far 
as he got, for she was now soaring on about 
astronomy, and poor Fat saw that dollar fading 
away as they were within a few yards of the col- 
lege grounds, so he didn't wait for even a comma, 
but broke in at a poetical pause, but there was 
only time to say ''Once," so Fat was down and 
out, for he had but six words to his credit. 
(All laugh.) (Expressions of ''Too had, Fat/^ 

Dan: Fat'U have an awful time proposing, 
won't he? 

Fat (angry): Don't listen to that rot. Let's 
have some music. (Any kind of songs, preferably 
college songs, may he introduced — quartette, solo, 
chorus, etc.) 

(They sing.) 

Sport: Look who's coming, fellows. (All look 

off L.; 

All: Come on, girls, and join our happy fam- 
ily of the unemployed. 

(^Fat subsides and Sport takes the leadership.) 
(Enter girls. Girls and hoys greet each other 
ivith "Hello, hoys; hellow, girls,'' some call- 
ing each other hy name. Harry works his 
way round to Alice, hut she pays little at- 
tention to him, ivatching Jack. Alice and 
Jack^s eyes meet occasionally, hut they im- 
mediately look elsewhere. Fat ivorks his 
way to Jean; Sport to Cute.j 
Sport : Say, girls, we boys have just been sing- 
ing a little, but suppose you girls are scared to 
sing on the campus. 

Girls : Well, I should say we are not. 
Sport: All right, then let's have a song. 
Girls: All right, boys, we're game. 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 23 

GiRL: Let's sing this one, that we have for 
class today, and then if they catch us we will just 
tell them we are practicing our lesson. (Any 
songs may he sung and any number of girls can 
sing that may he desired. In the first production 
six girls, dressed in tennis costume and carrying 
rackets, sang.) 

Sport: Let's all sing something. Come on, 
everybody join in. 

(All sing.) 
Sport : Let 's waken up this old school with a 
class yell. All together, one, two, three (sloivly): 
Rah, rah, ru, 
W. V. u. 
Sis! Boom! Ah! 
West Virginia. 
Sport: (to Cutej: Isn't that a great yell? 
Cute: I think it's awfully cute! 
Jean : Yonder comes Prexy. 
(Girls. Siihdued screams. Rush wildly off. Boys 
decide to take their medicine and show the 
girls hoiv hrave they are.) 
Fat (peeps out from hehind wing): Don't go, 
girls, we'll protect you. 

(Enter President r.^ 
President : What are you young men doing 
out here during recitation hours? 

All (dragging Fat up to President j; Ex- 
plain, Fat, you got us out here. 

Fat (advancing toward President^; Well, you 

see. Prof. 

(Boys urge him on.) 
President : Yes, and I also heard. 
Fat: Well, you see, Prexy wasn't in his class 
room and I was — 

President : Go, on. Sir. 



24 COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 

(Boys still urging Fat and disgusted at his stam- 
mering.) 

Fat (stammering): I was, I was — afraid to 
trust these youngsters — so many of them are 
freshmen — afraid to trust them in there, as I was, 
that is, I was, you know, as I was, afraid they'd 
break up the furniture and things, so I brought 
them out here to, to preserve order. 

President: Very well. Sir, and now that order 
has been preserved, come along with me to the 
office and we'll do a little canning. (^President 
stands r. and hoys pass out.) 
CURTAIN. 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 25 



ACT III. 

Athletic field, showing part of the quarter-mile 
track, hoard wall at rear, about seven feet 
high, except at each end, where it should he 
just high enough to see over. 
College try-out for representatives at the confer- 
ence meet. College yells of 
Rah, rah, ru. 
Old gold and hlue, 
Sis^ hoom, ah 
Tiger, 
before rise of curtain. Sport, Bill and 
Archie on stage R. of c. when curtain rises. 
The girls who sing in Act II. can be used in this 
act to help with yells and fill up stage at the 
finishes. There should be four or five hoys, 
not in the regular cast, to act as judges, time- 
keepers, etc. 
(Enter Dad White and Sam Wilson, Swipe, a 
small boy in big sweater.) 
Dad (looking at watch): It's time to begin this 
try-out. (To Sam;.- Go tell those hundred-yard 
dash fellows to come on. (Exit Sam r.; We're 
going to start these races right away and any 
fellows who want to represent Old Gold and Blue 
at the conference meet must show me today what 
they can do. Come on here, you fellows — you'll 
have to move faster than that if you expect to 
win any hundred-yard dashes. 
(Enter r.— Sam and Ed Baily, Jess Roberts, 
John Long — in track suits.) 
Sport: Let's go over and see the finish. 
("Sport, Bill and Archie cross over and exit L.j 
Dad : Come on now and see if you can do any- 



26 COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 

thing in the finals. Are you judges ready down 
there? (Faint answers, "All ready.") Go to 
your marks, get set (fires gun). ("Ed, Jess and 
John start run off lJ 

(Yells in the distance, "Come on Ed, you've got 

him, Jess; pass him, John, old scout. Good 

hoy, Eddie/ ^ Yells, "What's the matter 

with Eddie f He's all light! Who's all right? 

Eddie/ ^V 

Dad (to Samj; Tell the milers to be ready as 

soon as we run these hurdles. Here, you fellows, 

help get up these hurdles. 

Sam: All right. Coach. (Hurries off.) (Enters 
Ed, Jess and John, in bath robes.) 
Dad: Who won? 
Jess and John: Eddie. 
Dad: What was the time? 
John: Ten, three. 

Dad : I thought so ! You fellows run like a lot 
of old broken-down draft horses. Go and get a 
rubdown while we get up the low hurdles and 
let's see if you can't do something. Put up those 
hurdles down there. Get a move on yourselves. 
Here's the place for the last ones! (Fixes three 
hurdles in c. of stage. Looking off 'l.) Set that 
fourth hurdle over. No! (Waves hand) the 
other way! There! Whoa! not so far, you bone- 
heads! Straighten those others up! That's too 
far! Sam, go down there and show them how to 
fix 'em. (Tivo hurdles can be used, two men 
jumping the same hurdle.) 

Sam : All right, Dad, you bring on the guys 
that's goin"^ to run. I'll have 'em ready by the 
time you get 'em. Hey, there, you set that hurdle 
over to the right down there. Whoa. (Goes off l. 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 27 

strutting, saying): Guess I'll have to go down 
and show them boneheads how to do it. 

Dad (looks off n.): Come on, you hurdlers. 
(Enter Jess, John and Ed, who cross and exit L.j 

Dad: You judges and timers, go up there to 
the finish. ("Dad exits to start race.) 
(Judges and timers exit r. Students cross hack 
and forth waiting for race to start. Enter 
Sport and Cute -l.) 

Sport: Isn't it great the way Eddie's been run- 
ning the hurdles? 

CuTE: It's awfully cute! (Crosses over to u.) 
(Enter Fat, Archie and Dan, l.j 

Archie: Fat, I bet you a dollar you can't 
jump that hurdle. 

Fat: I'll take that bet. Put up your dollar. 

Archie: Here you go. Hold the stakes, Dan. 
(Each hand Dan a dollar.) You'll pay if you 
bet, will you. Fat? 

Fat : Yes, of course, I will. What do you take 
me for? 

Archie: All right, he's bet, give me the money. 
("Dan hands it to him and they run off l.. Fat 
after them.) 

Fat : Come back here, you robbers. 
(Faint sound of gun.) 

Sport (turning): There's the gun; they're off! 
Here they come! ("Sport and students off R. yell, 
"Come on, Ed; come on, Jess; come on, Nick. 
They cross the hurdles almost together. Sev- 
eral fellows cross from l. to R., all asking each 
other who ivon and talking about the race.) 

Sam (march in an important manner): Here, 
you kids, get these hurdles off the cinder path, 
will you? (Boys remove them.) 



28 COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 

Dad: Tell the runners to hurry on out. 
Sam: All right. (Rushes out r.) Hey, you 
long distance guys — 

(Enter Nick Blake, Tom Jones, r.) 

Dad: Are you the only fellows for the mile? 
Whereas Dick Allen? (Enter Jack Jamison, r.) 

Jack: Dick is laid up with the grip. Doctor 
says he can't be out for a week. He told me to 
tell you to get someone to run in his place. 
Coach, Hank Hawkins over there is a great miler. 
He can run a mile and never draw a long breath. 

Nick: Bring him over and we will see that he 
gets one good long breath, anyway. 

Dad: Are you fellows willing to let him run? 

Tom : Sure, we '11 be delighted. 

Dad: Go and see if he'll enter this race. 
(Exit Jack, l.j 

Tom : We 've seen those farmer boys before, hey, 
old SOX? 

NiCK: You bet we have, and sent 'em back to 
the hay, too, believe me. 

Dad: You fellows never mind. If he can run 
at all he can beat you, if you don't show up better 
than you .have been. (Enter Jack and Hank, u) 

Jack: This is Hank Hawkins, Coach. 

Dad: You ever run a mile in your life? 

Hank: Yep. Guess I must a-run two when 
Old Man Kelly's bull chased me once. (Enter 
Sam, r.) 

Dad: Cut the funny business. Sam, get him a 
track suit. 

Sam: Here's one. (Hands it to Hank, tvho ex- 
amines it. Throws it hack.) 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 29 

Hank: I don't need none of your bathin' suits. 
I'll just slip off my shoes (sits down and pulls off 
shoes) and run in my sock feet. (Throws off coat 
and vest, displaying hig red suspenders ; stoops 
over and rolls up trousers.) I'm ready now. 
Wliere you start from? 

Dad: Over there by those fellows. 

Jack: Listen to the coach, Hank, and do ex- 
actly what he tells you. 

Hank: All right. Jack. ("Hank goes over 
where Nick and Tom are lined up.) 

Hank: Gee! You fellows are about half -naked, 
ain't you? 

Dad: Go to your marks. 

Hank: I don't see any marks. 

Jack: He means the line there. 

Dad: Shut up. Go to your marks, now set— 
(^Hank sits down). 

Hank: Gosh, I'm not tired yet, but guess a lit- 
tle rest won't hurt none. I'll have to follow in- 
structions, though. 

Dad: "What are you doin' there, you bonehead? 

Hank (rising) : Well, you told us to get set and 
I'm tryin' to follow instructions. 

Dad: That simply means for you to get ready 
to start. 

Hank: Oh, I got you now, and I'm ready for 
the word ''Go!" 

Dad: Go to your marks, get set — (fires gun. 
Nick and Tom start; Hank turns round to coach). 

Hank : Who shot that pistol ? Did anybody get 
hit? 

Dad: What in the — whoa, there! Come back, 
you fellows. 



30 COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 

Jack: Look here, Coach, this is the first track 
meet my friend Hank here ever saw and he simply 
don't understand it and you haven't explained 
it to him. Out in the country they line up, the 
starter either drops a hat or a handkerchief or 
says, ''All ready, one, two, three, go." 

Hank: That's right. Coach; I don't seem to 
get the hang of things. I never even heard you 
say ''Go." 

Dad: I didn't say "Go," and I'm not going to 
say ' ' Go. ' ' The way we start is this : Get to j^our 
marks, get set, and then fire a pistol and that's 
your signal to start. I suppose you'll be jumping 
the gun the next thing! (^Nick and Tom return 
disgustedly.) 

Hank: I won't jump no gun, not if I think it 
is loaded. 

Dad: We'll try it just once more. Go to your 
marks, get set (fires gun). They all start. 

Sport: Look at that long-legged galloot run! 
Boy, he'll run his fool head off before the race has 
begun. (All look around end of hoard fence, u) 

Jack: Don't you fellows worry about that. 

Sport: Oh, we're not worryin' a bit. 

Archie: Nick and Tom will play with him un- 
til the last lap and then there'll be nothing left 
of the mountaineer. 

Sport: Nothing left but himself and he'll be 
left about a quarter. 

(Crowd crosses and looks off R.) 
Archie: A quarter! That'll be more money 
than he ever had all at once in his life. 
(Enter Hank — stops.) 
Hank: Gee, that was a short mile! 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 31 

Jack: That's only a quarter, Hank — go on — 
three more laps — take it a little slower. 

Hank: Oh, they're easy. (Starts on.) (Enter 
Nick and TomJ 

Sport : Keep it up, fellows, and lay for him in 
the last lap. 

Dad: What do you think of that. Fat? 

Fat : Think the wild man from the mountains 
will win hands down. 

Fat (crotvding to see over fence, n., gets in front 
of Archie^. 

Archie: Get out of my light, Fat. I can't see 
through you. 

Fat: That's funny; Ma says she can. 

Hank (enter Hankj; Chalk me up another 
round. 

Sport: You better save your breath — you'll 
need it before this race is over. (Enter Nick and 
Tom.; 

Bill: Running nice and smooth, old sports — 
one more lap and then go after him. Don't let 
him get too much of a lead, though ! 

(Enter Julia and Alice, r.) 

Julia: Go on. Hank! 

Alice: I thought you didn't like rubes. 

Julia: Who said I did? 

Alice: Nobody. But why so excited? 

Julia: He's just interesting, and they say he'll 
be Governor or President some day. 

Alice: It would be nice to live in the Gover- 
nor's mansion or Washington — 

Julia: It wouldn't be so bad. 

Jack (off r. to Hankj ; Only one more, old man. 



32 COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 

Speed up a little and show these fellows a trick or 
two. 

(Enter Hank.J 

Hank: All right, Jack. (Enter Nick ayid Tom, 
hoth tired.) 

Dad (fires gun). (To Jack^; Jack, why don't 
you go and get ready for the 440? 

Jack : I 'd like to see this finish first, Coach. 

Dad: I can tell you how it will be right now. 
That friend of yours is the greatest natural run- 
ner I've ever seen. Look there at him comin' now. 
Those other fellows have no more show beatin' him 
than Fat, over there, would have. Get up your 
tape, fellows. 

(Tico hoys stretch tape across track.) 

Sport (looking off n.): That fellow can run, 
can't he? Look at him come! 

Jack : Come on. Hank, old boy, sprint it out ! 
(Enter Hank ayid stops before crossing the tape.) 

Jack: Cross the tape, Hank. 

Hank: Hold her down, fellows, I'm not very 
good on the high jump. 

Jack: You don't have to jump it, just break it. 

Hank: I'll break it, but blamed if I'll pay 
for it. 

(Runs against tape, comes hack, led hy Jack.J 
(When Hank ivins, Julia hugs Alice in her en- 
thusiasm.) 

Hank: Wonder what's detainin' them other 
fellows? Oh, there they come. Where are my 
shoes and hat and coat and vest? 

(Enter Sam r. excitedly.) 

Sam : Here they are. (Enter Nick and Tom r., 
nearly exhausted.) 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 33 

('Sport and Archie, carrying hath rohes. Hank 
sits down and puts on shoes, then other ap- 
parel.) 

(Enter Nick and Tom, l., in hath rohes, led hy 
Sport and Archie across stage): Hard luck, 
fellows, you'll beat him next time. 

Dad (to Hankj: Can't you come out and train 
regularly ? 

Hank : I dunno. It keeps a fellow pretty busy 
when he has to make a living and study a little 
now and then. Say, if you have any laundry to 
send away I'd like to get your business. And I 
just got the agency for a clothing house and can 
sell you a dandy suit of clothes from ten dollars 
up — some of 'em go as high as twenty dollars, but 
I wouldn't insist on you spendin' that much just 
for a suit of clothes. 

Dad: I'll talk to you some time, but you come 
out Monday evening after school for a few min- 
utes. 

Hank: All right, Mr. 1 don't believe I 

know your name. 

Dad: Just Dad will do. 

Hank: All right, Dad, maybe I will — but don't 
forget about the laundry and suit — I can get you 
a dandy pair of pants for $2.50 — special bargain 
price. The company makes them to order. 
(Exit.) 

Dad : He 's a peculiar duck, ain 't he ? But he '11 
make a runner some day and maybe a millionaire. 
Where are those 220 men? Go tell them to hurry 
on out. 

(Exit Sam, r.) 
(Enter Hank.j 



a4 COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 

Hank : By the way, I forgot to tell you that we 
guarantee them pants to fit. (Exits. Enter Jess 
John and Edy, r.) 

Dad: Come on here and let's see if you fellows 
can do anything in the 220. (Enter Hank.^ 

Hank (to coach) : And the suits are guaranteed, 
too. Fit, workmanship, goods and everything. 
(Exit.) 

Dad (to Hank^; That's good. (To runners): 
We'll start up yonder and finish here. fJESS, 
John, Ed and Dad cross and exit, h.) 

Joe : I '11 take the first man ; you take second, 
Bill. Don't need any more, as the other man will 
be third. 

Judge: Clear the track here, fellows; they are 
getting ready to start. (Waves hat; faint report 
of gun is heard.) 

Bill: Look out; here they come. (Fellows 
crowd around finish point.) Get back there. 
(Cries of ''Come on, Ed; beat him to it. Kid; 
you've got 'em, old boy!" Runners come in — 
Ed first, Jess second, John third.) 

Fat: Now we'll have a real race, fellows. If 
you have any bad money that you want to get rid 
of put it up on Harry Williams, for that boy 
Jack's goin' to show him his heels all the way 
round. 

Sport : What do you know about a foot race, 
Fat? 

Fat: Not much, but at that I have forgotten 
more about it than you and your whole family 
ever knew. 

Sport: You're a very knowing young thing, 
aren't you? Let me tell you something that you 
will be glad to forget — Harry will beat that 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 35 

friend, Jack, of yours, hands down. (Enter 
Harry and Jack J 

Dad : This will be the start and finish of the 
quarter — the last race for today. Are you judges 
ready ? Timers ! 

Fat (to Jackj; Take the pole, Jack, and run 
it out. Harry's had too many cigarettes and too 
many late hours to stand a stiff pace. Go to it 
from the crack of the gun and you'll get him 
easy. 

Jack: All right. Fat. 

Dad : Come on, you ! Get on your marks, get 
set. (Fires pistol and they are off. All rusli to 
L. and look.) 

Fat: Look at that jackrabbit run. I told you 
fellows he was some runner. 

Sport: Yes, but you know he can't keep that 
pace up. 

Fat : You just keep your peepers on him and 
see. 

Archie: Ah, Fat, you make me tired. 
(All cross over r. c.) 

Fat : You 're not half as tired as Harry will be 
when he finishes this quarter — if he's lucky 
enough to finish. 

(Enter Uncle N., u) 

Uncle N. : Is Jack Jamison around here ? 

JOE: He and Harry are running. Come and 
see the race of a lifetime, old man ! 

Uncle N. : Runnin ' them fool foot races again ! 
Now if it was a boss race — 

Archie: Look! Harry's passing Jack. 

Uncle N. : What 's that ? No boy a livin ' can 
outrun Jack. (Runs and looks over r.) "Come 



36 COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 

on there, Jack, you rascal." (Runs off R., yelling, 
''Run, you rascal, run.") 
(Girls, among them Alice, rush toward finish.) 

Alice: Come on. Jack, come on! (Keeps it up 
until after the finish.) 

Dad: Get back here and give them room for 
the finish — hold that tape up there. (Cries of 
''Here they come! Come on, Harry; sprint it out. 
Come on, Jack.^'j 

Fat: Harry is stumbling — he'll never finish — 
just a little more, old boy! 

("Jack crosses the tape, followed hy Uncle N., hat 
in hand, yelling, "Go on, you rascal, run,'' 
etc. A few seconds later Harry falls head- 
long before reaching the tape. Crowd rushes 
up. Dad orders the crowd to stand hack, 
turns Harry over on his hack.) 

D.U) : Bring that bottle, Sam. (Enter Sam with 
liniment hottle — hands it to Dad. Pours some of 
the liniment from hottle on his hand and holds 
it over Harry's nose. Harry gasps for hreath. 
Enter Uncle N. and Jack l. Uncle, with arm 
about Jack's shoulders.) 

Uncle N. : Some of them fellers seemed to 
think that dude could outrun you, Jack, but they 
can't any of 'em do it, I tell you! (Looks at 
Harry.j That youngster seems to be all tuckered 
out. Spect he 's been smokin ' cigarettes or drinkin ' 
this here soda water. I tell ye, Jack, a boss race 
furnishes a feller with a little mild amusement, 
but a foot race jes' naturally beats everything on 
earth for real interest and excitement. 

Jack: I'm glad you got to see one, Uncle. 
(Goes up and looks at Harry.^ Too bad. Is he all 
right, Coach? 

Dad: Yes, he'll come around in a few minutes. 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 37 

Jack : If I can do anything, let me know. (Exit 
Jack and Uncle n.) 

Harry : Turn on the light ! Turn on the light, 
I say. How do you expect a fellow to run in the 
dark. Let go of my feet! I can't run with you 
fellows hangin' on to me. Let go, I tell you. 
I've got to win this race — don't you know I have? 
I've got to win this race or lose her. Water! My 
throat — my lungs — they're on fire — water — put 
'em out — don't you see they're blazing? Help! 
Now I'll get him— on the last sprint — but it's get- 
ting dark; I can't see him — yes, yes; I must have 
passed him — but I can't see the tape — where is it 
— ^yes, yes; I must have passed it — I've won — 
(Sits up and looks wildly about.) Did I beat him? 

Dad: Beat nothin'. 

Harry: Did that jay beat me? 

Dad: He and cigarettes and carousing around 
did. ("Harry slowly rises and walks off r., sup- 
ported hy Dad. All leave stage hut Sport, Bill 
and Archie.^ 

Sport: That young upstart, Jack Jamison, has 
got to be taught a lesson this very night. 

Bill: We've got to haze him sooner or later, 
and we'd just as well do it tonight. 

Archie: Let's meet at Harry's room tonight. 
(Going off r.) 

Sport : All right, tonight at eight— then as Bill 
Shakespeare or somebody said — ''Mischief, thou 
art afoot — take thou what course thou wilt." 

CURTAIN 



38 COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 

ACT IV. 

JACK'S ROOM 

Night after the try-out. Jack seated at table 
studying. 

Jack: Now I suppose Harry and his crowd will 
make good their threats and try to haze me sure 
enough! I wish I could baffle them and at the 
same time teach them all a lesson. Let me see. 
How can I do it? (Thinks.) I have it! I'll pre- 
tend I'm writing a story and when they come I'll 
get them to let me tell it to them; then I'll tell 
them about Harry's and my boyhood days to- 
gether, which I believe will appeal to their better 
selves. (Starts writing. Door opens and Harry, 
Sport, Archie, Bill and Dan, all masked, enter.) 

Jack: Hellow. fellows! Sit down and make 
yourselves at home. 

Harry: Oh, cut it out and come along with us. 

Jack (aside): That's Harry.' What's your 
hurry, fellows? 

Harry: Bring him along, you guys. 

Jack : Let me tell you this little story that I 've 
been working on and if you don't think it worth 
finishing, then I'll go along with you. 

Archie: \Yhat kind of a story is it? 

Jack: A little tragedy — 

Harry: He's writing it for Puck. Come on 
with him. 

Sport: Let's hear this story, boys; he may nev- 
er write another. 

All but Harry: Let's have the storv. 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 39 

Harry (is nervous, yells): ''Come on, you cow- 
ards!" 

Others: Shut up. Come on and hear a good 
story. 

Jack: Thank you, boys, I'll make it just as 
short as possible to get in the main facts. 

Bill : Go to it, old scout, this is our busy night. 

Jack: Two boys were born on adjoining farms 
back in the hills, at about the same time. They 
grew up together, played together, went to the 
same school, sat together and fought for each 
other, until they had almost reached manhood. 
Just to help make the story intelligible we will 
call one Jack and one Harry — (^Harry makes a 
motion as if to speak, but catches himself) — al- 
though that was not their real names. 

I told you they were schoolmates. Well, one 
evening they were going home from school, to- 
gether as usual. Harry's home was located across 
a creek from the main road. A foot log served 
as a crossing. This particular evening the water 
was running high in the creek, making a very 
dangerous crossing. Jack tried to persuade Harry 
not to cross, but he laughed at his friend's fears 
and started over. Jack stood on the bank anx- 
iously w^atching him. AVhen Harry had reached 
the middle, he began to totter. Jack called to 
him, "Harry, sit down!" but he did not hear. 
Jack sprang to the log and started to the rescue, 
but before he could reach him, Harry fell into 
the stream, to what seemed certain death. Jack, 
perhaps from pure excitement, threw off his coat 
and plunged after. I will not give you all the de- 
tails of that terrible struggle to reach the shore, 
but somehow" it was reached and the two boys 



40 COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 

were carried to Harry's home where they were 
revived. When Harry learned how his life had 
been saved by his chum, he took Jack's hand and 
said, with eyes full of tears, heart full of thanks 
and admiration: "Jack, you saved my life and 
I want to tell you right now that I shall always 
be at your service, and whenever there's a chance 
for me to even up things I'm goin' to do it. Noth- 
ing on earth can ever make me go back on you, 
Jack." (^Jack stops; turns aivay.) 

Archie: Go on and finish the story — what be- 
came of the kids? 

Jack: You remember I told you Jack and 
Harry wasn't their real names — well, that is true 
— one's name was Henry and the other John, but 
they called them Jack and Harry — I'm Jack, and 
your leader there is Harry (jerking off Harry ^s 
mask). This is the boy whose life I saved and who 
now comes to pay his debt of gratitude — this is 
the— 

All: Let's haze him! 

Jack (steps in front of Harry j; No, boys, you 
sha'n't do that. 

Archie (advances): We will, too. 

Jack: No, you don't! 
(^Archie advances again. Jack knocks him down.) 

Jack: Now, if any of the rest of you want a 
similar dose, come on — when I finish this story 
3^ou can do what you like. 

Archie (rubbing his head): Better let him fin- 
ish the story, boys. 

Jack: Now, don't think too hard of my friend 
Harry, boys, for really he is a fine fellow at heart, 
and the only trouble now is that his dad's money 
has gone to his head. The fact is, old Mother Na- 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 41 

ture played him a low down trick when she de- 
posited a pool of oil under his father's farm. Be- 
fore the oil made them rich, they were about the 
best folks in our part of the country, and if a kind 
Providence would stop that flow of oil before it's 
too late, they would return to their proper place. 
But I must return to my story. 

When I was a little kid my mother died, and 
Harry's mother was the one who cared for me 
and soothed my aching heart. That dear old lady 
has remained unspoiled by the sudden appearance 
of wealth, and today she is proud of her son, 
thinking him still the noble young man he was 
and — 

Harry: Jack! Jack! Don't say any more. I 
see it now — I see what a fool I've been, and 
mother shall never have any further reason to be 
disappointed in me. Boys, Jack is right, and 
what's more he's the best friend a fellow ever 
had. Jack, old boy, I'll not ask you to forgive me 
— that would be asking too much — 

Jack: That's all right, Harry. I haven't lost 
faith in you — 

Harry: Thanks, Jack, from now on I'm going 
to play the game according to the rules — I'll cut 
out the things that have helped to make a fool and 
weakling of me, and from now on you've got to 
beat the boy you knew before Dad struck oil. 

Jack (laughing): Go to it, old boy. While we 
fight it out. Old Gold and Blue will have a first 
and second in the 440; I'll beat you if I can, but 
if you win I'll be the first to congratulate you-^ 
if I'm able to walk to you. 

Harry: Same here, old boy, put her there. 
(They shake hands.) 



42 COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 

Jack: Boys! Don't ever breath a word o| 
what's happened here tonight. You won't, will 
you? 

All: You bet we won't. Goodnight, Jack. 

Jack: Goodnight, fellows, come and see me 
again. (^Jack follows Harry to door. Harry turns 
and tries to speak, hut is unahle to do so. Grasps 
Jack^s hand and goes out in silence.) 

Jack (sit^ at table — studies. Knock at door): 
Come in ! 

(Enter Fat, Nick and JoE.j 

All: Hello, Jack! 

Fat: Well, take a squint at that! (Pointing at 
Jack. J A freshman studying after winning the 
hardest race of the day ! 

Jack: What else is there to do? 

Fat: Innocent young thing! Why, Kid, don't 
you know the proper thing to do is to get out on 
the street where people can see you and say as 
they pass, ''There's the chap that won the 440 in 
the try-out today — and tell the admiring multi- 
tude how you did it?" 

NiCK: Jack's not built that way. Fat. Track's 
not his major anyhow. He's majoring in law, 
same as you. 

Fat : Studying law, Kid ? 

Jack: Trying to, but I don't seem to get the 
hang of Blackstone. 

Fat: That's me. I used to get so bum-fuzzled 
when I was a freshman that I had a notion to 
drop law and take up agriculture. 

JoE: You gave up a good notion. Fat. 

Fat: Oh, you make me tired — therefore I shall 
lie down and rest. (Lies down on cot.) 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 43 

NiCK: Harry and his bunch are awfully sore at 
you, Jack. Better watch out or they may try to 
haze you. 

Jack: Oh, I don't think so. Harry and I — in 
fact, all of us are pretty good friends. 

JoE: I wouldn't trust 'em very far. 

Fat : By the way, won 't you fellows have some- 
thing to eat? (^Fat rises). My uncle sent me a 
box for winning my race and I haven't touched it. 

Fat : Did I hear somebody say eat, or was I 
dreaming ? 

Joe: You w^ere dreaming, lie down and dream 
that you are eating. 

("Jack gets box.) 

Fat : This is no dream if I am half asleep — 
it's too good for a dream. 

Jack (passing things out): Here, Fat, have a 
small piece of pie. (Gives him a large piece of 
pie.) 

Fat: Thanks greatly for small favors. (Sits 
and eats.) Apple pie, by gum! (Eats greedily. 
Other hoys eat cakes, fruit, etc.) 
(Knock at door.) 

Jack: Come in. 

(Enter Hank.^ 

All: Hello, Hank, just in time. 

Jack: Have a piece of cake, Hank — just got a 
box from Uncle. 

Hank: My life is saved! Don't you know, 1 
was so doggoned hungry that I don't honestly be- 
lieve I would have lived over night. 

Fat (with mouthful of pie, makes signs and 
tries to say): Give him some apple pie — finest 
truck you ever set a tooth in — 



44 COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 

(^Fat is getting sleepy , hut continues to eat pie.) 
Jack: I told the coach you were a streak when 

it comes to running the mile — guess he believes me 

now. 

Hank: And I know he knows you are some 

pumpkin in the quarter, eh, boys. 

Joe and Nick: You bet he does. 

Jack: What's your latest money-making 
scheme, Hank? 

Hank : Well, I got a lease on a farm for oil and 
gas and if they strike oil in a new well that's goin' 
down I'll be a regular John D. Rockefeller. But 
that's only a side line. I've got the agency for a 
book (produces hook) — the title of this book is 
''Household Knowledge." It contains over five 
hundred pages and one hundred beautiful illus- 
trations put up in the beautiful and attractive 
form which I now hold before you. Upon open- 
ing the book, we find first the title page in clear, 
bold type; then we have the table of contents in 
which you will see the book treats of every sub- 
ject that is of vital interest and every day use in 
the home — such as how to get a home; how to 
keep it home-like; how to raise garden truck; 
mortgages and umbrellas; how to make sausage, 
sauerkraut and love; how to tell the age of a 
horse, cow or woman. This is only a brief out- 
line of a very small portion of the greatest book 
of the age. Price, in leather binding, only $4.95. 
Of course, we have a cloth binding, at $3.65, but 
people of your class usually prefer the leather — 
just sign right there. (All laugh.) 

Hank: Some speech, ain't it? 

Jack: That sounds like it ought to sell 'em. 

Hank: Honestly, fellows, when I rehearse that 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 45 

speech, I get so worked up that I've signed a con- 
tract myself every time I go through it. (^Fat has 
finished his pie and has fallen asleep and is snor- 
ing.) 

NiCK: Say, fellows, let's play a joke on Fat. 

All: All right. 

JOE: I tell you, let's make him a mustache and 
goatee, like Prof. Gaudet (Goday) wears. 

Jack: It's a shame to do it, but I'll get you 
some shoe blacking. Who wants it? 

NiCK: I'm game. Give it here. (^Nick takes 
the blacking and approaches cautiously. As he 
applies it Fat turns his head uneasily and brushes 
away an imaginary fly. But the job is com- 
pleted.) 

(All the boys take a look with suppressed 
laughter.) 

Hank: He shore does look like that French 
Prof. what's his name? 

Nick : Now watch me wake him. (Gets a broom 
splint and tickles Fat's neck. Fat fights imag- 
inary flies. Finally wakens in a rage. All the 
fellows are innocently talking.) 

Fat: Who in thunder did that? 

All: Did what, Fat? 

Fat: You knov/, you low down mischievous 
curs. If you weren't a lot of cowards I'd lick — 
(Advances toward mirror and sees reflection.) 

Fat: I beg your pardon. Professor. How did 
you come to be in this den of rascals — (extends 
hand, which comes in contact with glass — rubs 
hand over the glass, then over his own face, then 
turns on the fellows in a rage.) You infernal 
scoundrels! I'll murder the last one of you. 



46 COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 

(Makes for Jack, wJio rushes behind cot; then 
after Hank, who sets a chair in front of him and 
Fat falls over it, arises and ruhs shin.) Ouch ! 
Gosh darn you, now I will kill somebody! 
(Makes another rush, hut all elude him. He grabs 
pillows and tJirows them at the boys, finally stop- 
ping in front of the mirror again — looks — 
laughs.) That's a pretty good one on me, boys. 
(Curls mustache.) Now I'll go out and get even 
by scaring the life out of some freshmen. Au 
revoir, zhentlemen. 

NiCK: Come on, boys, let's go and see the fun. 

JoE: All right. 

Jack: Sorry I can't go, but I got to study. 

Hank: Guess I'll stay and see that he does. 
Goodnight. 

(Exeunt Joe, Nick and Fat.^ 

Hank: Say, Jack, do you know Miss Julia San- 
ders ? 

Jack: Yes, I know her slightly. Alice intro- 
duced us the other day. Why? 

Hank: Well, Alice gave me a '"knock-down" 
to her and, to tell the truth, I kind o' fell in love 
with her. But. you see, I happen to know that she 
won't marry anyone that isn't a hero and got a 
bank account. 

Jack: AYell, you'd be a hero, all right. Hank, 
if you ever got a chance. Some day you'll have 
a bank account. 

Hank: Yes, I'm not worrying about the bank 
account because that oil lease is going to make 
that — then I've been dabbling a little in real es- 
tate and got an option yesterday that I'll turn 
over at a profit — but that hero business gets my 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 47 

goat. See if you can't figure out something, 
somehow. I'd do anything from tackling a mad 
dog to stopping a runaway. Well, I must be go- 
ing. Promised to measure up some fellows for 
some suits after the show tonight. 

Jack: Any news from back home? 

Hank (standing m door): No, nothing; only 
heard the other day Harry Williams' old man was 
just about all in physically and financially. 

Jack: That's too bad! 

Hank: Why should you worry? 

Jack: I wouldn't worry if he should lose his 
money, because that would help make Harry the 
man he used to be, but I wouldn't want anything 
else happen to him. 

Hank: Well, goodnight. Jack. Don't forget 
about that hero stunt. 

Jack: Goodnight, Hank. 

(Exit Hank.^ 
(^Hank re-enters.) 

Hank: Say, Jack, don't tell her about the time 
old man Kelly's bull chased me. I wish he'd try 
it again and she was a-lookin'. I'd kill that bul] 
or die myself! 

(Exits.) 

Jack (sitting at table thinking). 

Jack: Well, this has been a great day — and 
night. Lots of things have happened — many of 
which, I suppose, ought to make me happy, but 
there's just one that seems worth while to me, and 
that — I shall never forget ! When you have loved 
a girl for seeming ages, and lived all that time 
to see her favoring another, and when that other 
and yourself is in a contest that means so much 



48 COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 

to win, to hear her voice crying out, ''Come on, 
Jack ; come on ! " Oh, that ought to be enough hap- 
piness for an eternity, let alone for one day. I'm 
coming, Alice, some day — for you! 

CURTAIN. 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 49 



ACT v.* 

(Evening. View of Campus, adjoining Gymna- 
sium. Faint dance music heard from Gym., to 
left of stage. Benches R. and h.) 
(Enter Hank, l., reading hook. Stops, scratches 
head.) 

Hank: This ettiquett, or whatever you call it, 
is the hardest stuff I ever tackled, but Jack says 
I ought to read up on it, and I guess he's right. 
(Enter Jack, l,.) 

Jack: Oh, I say. Hank! 

Hank (Startled. Tries to hide hook; turns 
toward Jack and looks him over): Say, old sport, 
why don't you get some English eyeglasses, don't 
you know. 

Jack: Come here. Hank, and let me tell you 
something. Do I look any richer than I did this 
morning ? 

Hank: Why, you look like a millionaire — 
what's happened? 

Jack: My uncle has just made me a present of 
an interest in a big mine he owns out in Arizona, 
and I'm to go and manage it. 

Hank: You mean your Uncle Nute Neely? 
Why, I thought he was a very poor man. 

Jack : So did I, and so did most everybody, but 
seems he had made some investment in a copper 
mine in Arizona and it happened to be a good one 
and he made a bunch of money. 

Hank : And gave it to you. I must say he was 
pretty easy. 

*Arrang-ed by the author from act written by Miss 
Harriet Snodgrass, student of Phoenix Union Hig-h School, 
in competition for best fifth act. 



50 COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 

Jack: Don't speak of it to anyone, as I don't 
want a certain young lady to hear about it until 
after tonight. By the way, Hank, how about that 
hero stunt? 

Hank: Oh, that's all hunkeedora. Jack. Come 
over and sit down and I'll tell you about it. 
(They sit on seat, R.) I had just about given up 
all hopes, when day before yesterday, I was pass- 
ing that moving picture outfit that's come to town 
and I heard the boss say, "I'd give $25 for some- 
one to double for Romine in the hero's part of 
stopping the runaway team in this scene." That 
interested me right away and I says, ''I'm your 
man!" It was a chance to make a little coin and 
I thought maybe Julia might see me. Then I told 
them they'd have to pull it off on a certain street — 

Jack : Of course, that was on the street in front 
of where Julia rooms — 

Hank: Correct, you are, and that's about all 
except that I pulled off the scene in good shape 
and Julia saw me. 

Jack: And I suppose you are now engaged — 

Hank: Yes, it's all over but the wedding. 

Jack: I see why you are reading that book on 
etiquette. But, say. Hank, aren't you getting 
yor wife under what is known in law as "false 
pretence ? ' ' 

Hank : I know what you mean. Not a bit of it. 
I explained the whole matter to Julia and she 
said it was all right; that it took as much nerve 
to do it that way as if it had been real. I'm pretty 
lucky, Jack, as my oil property and real estate 
deals have turned out better than I expected — 

Jack: You are a lucky dog. Hank, but it's all 
due to your pluck. (Rising.) But we had better 
go in where they are dancing, as you know this 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 51 

dance is being given in our favor for winning our 
races again at the conference meet. 

Hank : Yes, but you know I don 't dance any of 
them new-fangled dances. Now, if they'd give us 
an old-fashioned square dance or the old Virginia 
reel, I'd be right at home. 

(Exit Jack and Hank, u) 
(Enter Alice, l.; Harry, r.^ 

Alice: Hello, Harry, where did you come 
from? 

Harry (rushes to Alice, grasping her hand): 
Just got off the train. 

Alice: Where have you been keeping yourself 
lately, Harry? Why, I haven't seen you for a 
whole year. 

Harry: I've been out west trying to get a new 
start, and now that I've got located and on the 
road to making good, I've come all the way back 
to West Virginia to see if I can't take back with 
me something that is more precious to me than 
anything else in the world. 

Alice: May I ask what it is? 

Harry: Yes. It is you, little girl, that I want 
above everything else. 

Alice (jerking her hand away and stepping 
lack): Me? 

Harry: Yes, you, Alice. I know I made an 
awful fool of myself the last year in school here, 
but when father's money was all gone and I came 
to myself and saw that I wasn't fit to be around 
you, I left, determined to make good and come 
back for you. Won't you come with me and help 
make a better man of me? For I need you, Alice, 

Alice: Oh, Harry, please don't put it that 
way! I can't; I can't go with you! 

Harry: Don't you love me a little, Alice? 



52 COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 

Alice: I, I don't think so, Harry, but please 
don't look so sad about it. Oh, I hate to hurt and 
disappoint you — but it isn't possible — I've always 
liked you, but it isn't love. 

Harry: Had I played the game fair from the 
beginning, would there have been any chance for 
me? 

Alice : Maybe — I can 't tell — but we can be good 
friends, can't we? 

Harry : Friends? Yes, that's all, I suppose — 
so I must tell you goodbye forever and go! (Ex- 
tends hand.) 

Alice: Go? Where? (Takes his hand.) 

Harry : Back west. 

Alice: Can't you stay for the dance? 

Harry: No, I can't face the music, now. Good- 
bye, Alice. 

Alice: Goodbye, Harry. Good luck! (Exit 
Harry, r. Alice turns toward l. Stands with 
downcast eyes a moment, braces up and starts to 
exit, L. Enter Jack, l., and meets her,) 

Jack: Oh, there you are, you little nuisance. 
I've been looking everywhere for you. Where 
have you been all this time? 

Alice: Do you know something, Jack? 

Jack: Yes, I know you're the dearest little girl 
in all the world. 

Alice : Jack, you almost lost me a while ago. 

Jack: Lost you? Why, what do you mean? 

Alice: Harry doesn't seem to have forgotten 
childhood days, and still thought I belonged to 
him. 

Jack: I don't understand. I thought he was 
out west. 

Alice : So he was, but he arrived today ; was here 
tonight and wanted me to go back with him. 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 53 

Jack : But you 're not going, are you, Alice ? 
Alice : Why, what would it be to you ? 
Jack: Everything! Alice, I Ve finished my law 
course and now I must go out into the world and 
make a living and more if I can. Of course you 
know how dreadfully poor I am. I'm not able 
to support you as you deserve. You must know 
how I love you, and when I'm in a position to be 
the kind of husband you ought to have I'm com- 
ing for you, Alice. 

Alice : And I '11 be waiting for you. Jack. 
Jack: Alice! (Starts to embrace her, hut she 
eludes him.) 

Alice: Not yet, Jack— let's go in and dance. 
(Exit Alice, l., followed by Jack.; 
(Enter Jean, l., followed by Fat. As Jean re- 
cites, Fat follows her back and forth across 
the stage, watching for an opportunity to pro- 
pose.) 
Jean: Yes, I am writing a love story. Just 
listen to a quotation from one of the love letters 
it contains: 

''I had been nervously pacing back and forth 
in my quaintly furnished boudoir, thinking, think- 
ing of you; all the time wondering if your letter 
would ever come, when I peered out of the win- 
dow to the westward and saw the golden sun drop- 
ping down over the edge of the world, down be- 
hind the purple mountain tops into a sea of golden 
glory, when I heard the footfall of one of Uncle 
Sam's messengers. Rushing wildly out, hoping 
and fearing, to see if the long-looked for message 
had at last arrived, I eagerly snatched the bundle 
of letters, ran through them, trembling lest I 
should again be disappointed. But I wasn't! 
There it was — my name written by you." 
Fat : Miss Jean, will you marry me ? 



54 COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 

Jean : "I cannot — for the life of me, tell how I 
got that long-delayed missive out of the envelope 
— it was done so quickly. Dearest, don't be angry 
when I tell you that the long delay had almost 
caused me to doubt you, but I'm sure you will for- 
give me when I tell you that your letter, wliich was 
written on the 20th, did not reach me until the 
25th, when it should take but four days for it to 
come. Those miserable hirelings of Uncle Sam's 
had delayed it a whole day ! ' ' 

(^Jean goes off l. Fat watches her in despair.) 
Fat : I '11 bet that makes forty times I 've tried to 
propose to her, but she won't listen. Tonight is my 
last chance, and I've got to have an answer. But 
how in thunder to do it is more than I can make 
out. (Walks had' and forth in deep study.) I 
have it! I have the next dance with her; I'll 
write it out and pin it over my heart so that she 
can't help seeing it. Here goes! (Takes paper 
and pencil from pocket and ivrites.) Ah, I guess 
I'll catch her eyes if I can't her ears. (Reads): 
"Jean, will you marry me? Needn't stop talking 
to answer, just nod your head." (Pins it over 
his heart.) 

(Exits, L., hurriedly.) 
(Enter Cute and Sport, l.^ 

Sport: And now that we are engaged, my 
father has written me that he has bought a little 
vine-covered cottage in a beautiful grove with 
flowers and gardens and walks and drives and is 
having the house finished in elegant style all ready 
for us to move into after our honeymoon is over. 
Oh, won't it be grand? 

CuTE: It'll be awfully cute! 

(Enter Julia, h.) 

Julia: Hello, Sport! Hello, Cute! 



COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 55 

Sport and Cute: Hello, Julia! 
Julia: Say, Sport, have you changed your 
mmd about Jack and— and Hank? 

Sport: You bet I have— they're the finest fel- 
lows HI school. 

Julia: I'm glad you think so. I want you to 
help me make them enjoy themselves this evening. 
You know it's given largely in their favor for 
their good work in track, and Hank doesn't dance 
these new dances, but I understand he loves the 
old Virginia reel, and I want you to get a bunch 
to come out here on this platform and show him a 
real good time. He likes violin music, so you get 
someone to play and get half a dozen couples, 
and let's have the old Virginia reel, like thev do 
it back in the country. 

Sport: Sure, I'll fix it up in a jiffy. Let's go 
m and see them. You girls get the girls and I'll 
furnish the boys. 

(Exit L.; 

(Girls and hoys enter, l., among them Hank and 
Jack.j 

Sport: Get your places for the old Virginia 
reel. 

(Violinist plays and Hank surprises all by his 
ease and grace of moveynent doing the reel 
The others come out and stand around and 
ivatch. As the dance goes on, those in the 
dance hall all come out and look on.) 

(Enter Uncle Nute after a short time and looks 
on, grou'ing enthusiastic.) 
Uncle: Well, I'll be jiggered! If it haint the 

old Virginia reel. Makes me feel like a kid again ! 

Hello, Jack, you young rascal! Say, Jack, can't 

you git me a pardner? 



56 COUNTRY BOYS IN COLLEGE 

Jack: Say, Mary, won't you be Uncle's part- 
ner? He's some reeler, Uncle Niite is. 

Mary: Sure, Jack. (^Uncle Nute and Maey 
fake their places and Uncle Nute is in the height 
of his glory, going through the reel enthusiastic- 
ally.) 

At the close of the old Virginia reel, those taking 
part form a triangle opening toward the audi- 
ence, the onlookers evenly divided behind the 
ivings of the triangle. One of the onlookers 
takes his place luithin the triangle ivell toward 
the front, facing Jack and Hank, and pro- 
poses this toast: 
Here's to Hank and Jack, 
Who won for us in track; 
We wish for each of them the best in life — 
Health, wealth, happiness and a good wife. 
May thev always be true 
To Old Gold and Blue. 
And here's to our girls and the rest of the boys — 
May you ever drink deep of life's purest joys. 
And here's to you one and all, adois, friends, 
For this is where Country Boys in College 
ends. 
Slow curtain. While the curtain falls, all give 
college yell or sing chorus of one of the songs 
sung in the second act. 

CURTAIN. 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 




014 212 044 6 ^ 



